Been a long time...

Hi! I'm back! From where, you ask? From the depths of new-housing! we've got 3 new big planter beds sunken into the back yard hillside, a halfway built climbing gym in the garage (hopefully finished by sunday), another ferret and a whole lot of house plants. ...Col and I have been busy. I tell ya though, I would really love to just run off and go to smith, or leavenworth, or redrocks. Thats where everyone else is right now and I wanna goooooooo! Damn spring breakers. At least I can consol myself with the knowledge that the weather is crap now so I might as well hide out in my man cave and build a home gym. (It is snowing in C-town now and it is 90 in palm springs, where Col is)
I am really stoked on this climbing wall. I havent been this excited in months!
Oh, and now there are two ferrets running amok in the house. Colleen's sister found one for us at a humane society last month and she nursed the little guy back to health for us. So we have Sid and Huey now.

Portland Iditerod

If you havent heard of the real iditerod, it is a grueling dogsled race in AK. Portland does it's own version in true portland fashion. It is very similar to a hash. The humans are the sled dogs and one person is mushing a shopping cart decorated to some theme (my favorites were the Mormons, the cavemen[had a propane campfire in their cart] and the pope mobile cart) Col, her sister, myself, and 3 others created a team for this years Iditerod, and we got 3rd place out of 700+ people and were the front runners for most of the race (totally irrelevant because no one was keeping track of winner or loser). Being in front just ensured no waiting in long bathroom lines at each pitstop bar, getting served first at the bar, and getting a table between legs. One of the best times I have had in a long time. And definitely the most drunken exercise I have evre gotten. Those carts were heavy! Our theme was white trash, and we were hauling a singlewide trailer as our "sled". I had cutoff jean shorts that were a little too short after the second trimming. I think some folks got a helluva show when I was climbing a tree ;) We made the video 3 times, the first is right behind the ninja at the start and the second is near the people in the tree.

Urban Iditarod

Contact info

Our new addreess is
3304 Nw Foxtail St.
Corvallis, OR 97330
My phone # is 509-539-8780
Col's phone # is 503-810-1931

Hopefully with this new address all the moving, new phones and other uncertainty in my life is over now. What a relief. To this point in my life I have had over 10 different phone numbers, just under 30 different addresses, 12 different jobs, and lived in (I think) six different states on both coasts. When I look back on it, wow, what a ride! Oh, and just a guess, but with all the camping I have done, I would guestimate I have lived in a tent for at least a year after adding up camping trips and working for the USFS/BLM. I should really keep a running tally on the blog of how many days to date I have slept outside. That would be an interesting lifetime figure to see.

Moving day

Aside from a few small hiccups, the moving in process has been rather quick, and relatively painless. Colleen and I had a minor disagreement on what should be moved and what was “packrat junk” but after bashing her over the head with a good dose of logic talk and some large chunks of foam, I got the things over that were necessary. It seemed rather wasteful to throw away perfectly good things, but she insisted on getting rid of some! And then right when I am about to concede that I might have some things that can go to the trash, I find a bag of used bags that colleen had been packratting for the last several years. Yes, a trashbag full of neatly organized, yet tattered, Ziploc bags that god only knows what she was saving for. Sorry for the rant.
As with any new house, it takes a while to get used to the new surroundings; especially at night. I personally feel it was karma after all the heckling I got about keeping sentimental junk, but in the middle of the night I woke up just in time to hear Colleen walk headfirst into a wall while trying to find the bathroom. Hah! Another nighttime run in with an inanimate object! She blames it on poor vision but I think she has a drinking problem…

While moving into this house, "Big Pimpin'" has been stuck in my head all day. :)

Juvenile pranks

Who the hell throws eggs anymore as a form of retribution?!? That seems a little highschool, dont ya think? This morning I went out to my car and there was egg shell next to my car (and fairly far away from it which leads me to think the tool is a horrible shot). And not only did my car get egged, Colleen's did too. Who the hell hates both of us enough to waste 30 cents on eggs? There are starving kids in Africa people! This only kinda pisses me off, but not really even at all, because it is really just inconsequential to my life. The rain mostly rinsed it off before I even saw it. Same with Colleen's car. Just lame.

icanhascheezburger.com

...is one of the funniest sites I have seen in a long time. check it out


moar funny pictures

moar funny pictures

"HOLY SHIT! THE ROOM IS SPINNING!"

Yep, I am in Kentucky, waiting for my plane to arrive. I just spent the last few days at a Society for Rangeland Management conference pushing our companies services on anyone who would listen. During the day at least. Last night we had a "business" dinner with the sales reps from "Large Chemical Manufacturer X" with much of the "business" being how many drinks and how much heckling can you handle. Over dinner I watched how large corporate reps woo their customers and got stories of how they used to woo their customers. I heard tales of contracts being closed with gifts of hookers and new cars, and other much shadier promotions (this is no more however!). Throughout this meeting I was mostly quiet, retorting to their constant heckling with the occasional jab back, and I just watched and listened. With this job, there are two very different sides I am finding. One is an average, out-of-college job with menial work that is sometimes stimulating and fun. The other is a side of work I didnt expect to see for a very long time; its the large corporate good-ole-boys type of work where you dont really do anything except bullshit for an hour and then with 5 minutes left you say "ok, so we are good on the agreement to sell "product X" exclusively?" and the drunken ass who just drank $150 of the corporate wine says "Suuuure!" ...And another $400,00 deal is born, based on a few drinks and a pair of box seats at a Nascar event. I tell ya, not being a fan of Nascar, I am going to be a hard sell for these corporate reps, whenever I reach that level.
My favorite moment from possibly the whole time I have been at this job happened last night. After a few drinks at the bar, we were seated for dinner at a table in a room that was very slowly rotating on the 27th floor of the hotel(think space needle adjacent to a skyscraper). We all noticed the room was moving after several minutes as the windows and walls slowly changed orientation. Meanwhile Barry, who has the highest yearly sales(in millions) in the company every year (and is one of the good ole boys), is drinking merrily away. About an hour and a half into dinner(the room has done at least 1.5 rotations by now) Barry smacks the table and says, "I KNEW IT! The room IS spinning!" Everyone stared at him for 2 or 3 seconds in silence, and then there was laughter for the next 10 minutes of so. Secretly I had the same thought about 10 minutes into dinner when I realized the room was rotation, but I'll be damned if I was going to be the first to point out the room was spinning. It is good to know that I now have ammo on some of my superiors. I'll keep that on in my back pocket.

Now I am going to fly back to OR and enjoi the 400+ inches at Meadows. Schwing!

MLK Weekend

This weekend was the first OMC Sunriver weekend in 2 years and it was a smashing success. It was great to see a hottub full of nekkid people in the snow once again. Sat morning we XC'd in to Paulina falls to look at the ice accumulation and hopefully be able to TR some of it. Greg and Rob started in an hour before the rest of the group and I heard him over the radio saying something about an ice fall and climbing on a thin, broken ice flow. When we got there, the magnitude of the ice fall was apparent. Greg had lowered off and climbed one ice curtain, and then let Rob have a go. Rob lowered and then half way kicked in on the same area that greg had been on, and the WHOLE thing went. The pictures below say it all.

This morning someone put a post-it on Rob's back that read "be nice to me, I almost died yesterday"

The rest of the climbing (on a much more stable climb) proved to be incredible.

2 gud 2 B tru

The house was bunk. There were $35,000 hidden repairs the inspection report showed. Oh well, Colleen and Ben and I picked out 10 more to look at this weekend to look at. We'll find one.

Snow Day!

Reading Keith's blog last week got me all amped up for boarding this season. Before I left for CA the snow just wasn't happening though. On the drive back however, I was in snow from the Oregon border north. At Siskiyou Pass, I talked myself out of sleeping in the truck and riding at Mt Ashland in the morning beacuse I had to study for an upcoming test for work. Talk about inner turmoil!. Then driving north the weather just got colder and snowier. I spent 2 hours between the Rogue River and Eugene flip-flopping between "Dude the powder is going to be EPIC!" and "No, you have a job and a house now Ian, you have to embrace responsibility and study for this test at some point before taking it." (at this point you get one guess as to what my choice was.) I finally broke down in Eugene, checked the snow phone and called around to see who would go to the mountain with me. Jesse finally gave in and we drove back to Eugene in the morning to catch the Willamette Pass ski bus.
WOW, WHAT A GOOD DECISION!
Everything about the day was perfect. We rode top to bottom all day, hit a ton of different runs, and managed to get knee deep freshies on just about every run. Just in the time we were there we got another 5 inches or so. We figgered ok, last run, lets go destroy ourselves on this little double black over here. I mashed the hill and look up and dont see Jesse anywhere. Looking... Looking... Then he comes shooting out of the trees with a delerious laugh of satisfaction and we ended up taking 3 more runs in the steepest, best, untracked secret run on the whole hill. We rounded out the day with a pitcher of Jubelale in the bar and promptly passed out on the bus ride home.
The 2008 season is upon us!

Oregon Trail

As much as I hate the facebook apps and invites, one intreagued me recently. It was for Oregon Trail on facebook. I was really hoping it would rekindle those awesome memories of the old game, but it didnt. This version is lacking in its interactiveness. Mostly, it involved me pressing the "continue walking" button a bunch. It was a little more adult than the old version though. You can steal from other parties, Colleen got explosive diarrhea, Alyssa was desperately in need of water, Chubb wanted a cigar, and if you got sick of someone in your party, you could eat them! I like that part. The disturbing thing is that the leader on all of facebook currently has logged something like 50,000 miles on this game. Averaging 20 mph/day that is 2500 clicks on the "continue walking" button. Say it takes 5 seconds to load each time, that is 209 minutes playing the game. Then you factor in hunting and shopping at trailmart outposts and you have lost a lot of your life to another pointless facebook app. ...Just like me ranting about this on my blog.
After christmas my fam went to SoCal to meet Col's parents. For the first time. This is a moment we have both been dreading for a looooooong time. Fortunately it worked out very well. My dad and liddle bro Fritz became fast friends with Bob Pallari over a game of golf, while I showed them all how horrible I was at the game. I hit a glass door(miraculously didnt break) on a house near the course along with a number of other inanimate objects. Seriously, I need to stick to climbing. The only climbing highlight was getting to scramble the small rockpile below on top of San Jacinto Peak near Palm Springs.

OMFG!

I am so happy right now.

Reason #1
The guy at work who was threatening to send me back to New Mexico for the whole month of January just lost the bid on this NM project so I dont have to go!!! Hooray!!!

Reason #2
Col and I put in a second bid at asking price last night on the house and this one should go through. In a few days we will have a house! On the agenda is a large house party once we get partially moved in, so stay in touch. Jan 31 is the move in date.

Nu Haus

Col and I have been semi-joking about owning our own place for a while now. Every other month or so I will see a IE window open on Col's computer with house listings around here, as if to say "Look, I want a house. You should too. Here is what is available this month." So I pretend like I didnt see the price and say "that sounds like a great idea!"
Up until this month, that had been enough to stave off her "nest building" instincts. Then I caved and said "lets go look at this one!" So now we have an offer on a house. If you would like to see it, it is here. I am stoked on two things in particular. Ok, three things. One, is the monstrosity of a back yard; garden potential is endless! Two, Colleen ceded that the garage would be my man-cave and it will have a boulder wall, the likes of which the world has never seen. Three is the hot tub, 'nuff said. And one more addition is a riding lawnmower that we included in the bid that I can get wasted and ride around on. (Can they give DUI for lawnmower riding?)
Now I will tell you where it is, but you have to promise not to ridicule us. It is in NORTH Albany. Emphasis on "North." For those of you reading who dont know Oregon, Albany is a little trashy in places. There is a paper mill nearby that makes the whole town smell like farts when there is a South wind, and the people in Albany worship Walmart. North Albany is the nice side of town, on the more exclusive side of the river. We have a round-a-bout instead of a stoplight and we shop online instead of Walmart. You cant make fun of us for living there, nosiree! We'll see how the bid goes. It isn't ours yet...

Whoa and Awww

I am in Arizona for a conference and couldn't come up with anything creative to blog about, so here is this.



How? I dont know.



Awww.

Ahhhh its great to be home >:(

My mom asks me why I think she is insane. Now (as if this is a first) I have a concrete example that I can show her :)
First a little background: several years ago, my mom started getting really paranoid that someone was stalking her. Here is the evidence she had to support her theory; rocks in the front yard landscaping were being turned over in the middle of the night ( ooOH!), scratches in the furniture were appearing while she was out (I can remember putting one of those in as a child, but she wont listen), bolts holding things together in the house were being loosened (god forbid that should happen after 15 years of structural neglect!), a bike also disappeared out of the front yard (again obviously the stalker) and the list has gone on for the last 5 or so years.
In response to this threat she has this house wired up like Fort Fucking Knox!!!! There is a motion sensor in every room, all the doors are alarmed, there are video cameras everywhere (mission impossible style in the smoke alarms too), and for several months, she would sneak my brothers out of the house after dark so the evil doer wouldn't see, and a retired policeman/PI would come and sit in the house all night waiting for said evildoer to come and loosen more screws (there werent any left to loosen in my moms head though). All the while I am sitting back enjoying the show whenever I come to visit.
I woke up this morning to the house alarm. Yes all 50,000 watts of screaming highpitched siren. Apparently when my mom left this morning she forgot I was here and reset the alarm. Isnt that safe of her! When I rolled over in bed, that triggered the motion sensor. The security company calls but because I am not on the approved security list (she wont put me on because she isnt entirely convinced I am not the stalker) they cant deactivate the alarm. Apparently they were able to get ahold of her at the school eventually. She told them I was ok, and to reset the alarm. So they did. It stopped for 3 seconds, just enough time for me to take out my earplugs, and then started again! They reset it, but didnt turn it off. By this point the neighbors are coming by to see what is up; I just shake my head, they nod, and walk away. Mom wont give me her passowrd (remember I might still be the one turning over rocks in the night) and insists she is driving the 30 min home to deactivate it herself. Awesome. Earplugs in, knife in hand, I went about "deactivating" the alarms by cutting wires until I was either shocked or the thing shut up. All but the outside alarm are now "deactivated" as I sit and wait for psycho lady to get home.
Oh, whatddaya know! the alarm turned off again! Now I get to sit perfectly still while typing until she gets home so I dont trip the motion sensor again.
Welcome to my life!
I want to get back to Oregon.

Global Warming

I love Oregon

I think Sid the ferret is the perfect pet for me. The similarities are uncanny. The little bugger likes to play in the dirt, so do I. He likes to sleep away the day, so do I. I like entertainment, and he is definitely entertainment. A dog sounds fun too though. :)

On the home front, my old guy roommate moved out. Good news right? Not when it means an older, creepier guy moves in. This guy is an inescapable talker! And he is one of those old guys who doesn't care what folks think of him so he just speaks his mind. Colleen was over the other night and he made several sexist/sexual comments at her and the women he was watching on TV at the time. Col finally started laying into him a bit when he would say shit like that and I had to seperate them. The good news about this is I talked to my boss and he is releasing me from my "training" which allows me to move down to Ctown. That'll probably happen some time later this winter. Depends on how soon this guy gets on my nerves.

It is also great to be back in Oregon with sane, mostly normal people. Mormonland and little mexico were too much. Colleen and I did enjoy ourselves in Zion though. WWe spent several days slot canyoning and hiking around before driving back. We rented wetsuits, she brought climbing gear and we did Pine Creek Canyon (right under the long tunnel) and Keyhole Canyon. Col and I climbed to the top of Angels Landing in under an hour (3-4 hrs round trip in book). Oh yea!

The Virgin R. Narrows

The Virgin R. NarrowsColleen horizontally chimneyed over hundreds of feet of the water because she didn't want to get wet!Gotta love the swims!After Keyhole canyon.Col on a freehanging rappel.Desert Gambel Oak.

some math

October 4 = Last time I slept in my own bed,
28 = # of days I have worked in the last 31 days,
12 = aprox. average hours worked per work day(probably higher),
3167 = monthly salary,
28 X 12 = 336 hrs worked in a month,
$3167 / 336 = $9.42 per hr.
I made more than that per hr my sophmore year of highschool. I just hope that between having a good portion of time off during winter and not having to pay for gas I am averaging more than $9.42 per hour over the year.
And what has that $9.42 gotten me? Today I spent the day hiking and conversing with a Baptist Minister/Priest/Rabbi/Whatever from Texas. I got to learn about how the beautiful rock layers exposed in Zion are actually the product of one cataclysmic flood caused by God just several thousand years ago (the flood and sediment came from the mid atlantic ridge). Oh, and the slot canyons around the area are cracks where the biblical flood rushed up from under the continents. Yea, thats what I said. And just to really fit the stereotype, he started one story with "I really like little boys" (verbatim!) Oh, and apparently womens' best way to express their love to their husbands by doing dishes and taking care of kids because it is the man's responsibility to earn money, take care of finances... Again, you get the idea.
Another interesting thing about this hike is that there are 2-3 large felines in the immediate vicinity of our trail. One of us has been hiking into the burned area we are spraying every day to be a ground spotter for the helicopter. The "trail" is a sandy ridge that we bushwack into the boonies for 4.3 miles. Each day for the last several days new cougar tracks have been appearing, paralleling our footprints. There are 3 distinct tracks, one large and two smaller cats (one may be a large bobcat). So we have started hiking in pairs now. Isn't that sketchy?!?
So lets see what else... My boss choked me yesterday, I have made a name for myself with a rather Keeganesque comment yesterday that apparently is funny enough to tell EVERYONE currently residing within a 20 mile radius of the park, I now have a webcam, so I can talk to you on skype face to face, I wake up at 4:30 to get to work before the sun rises, and the glimmering light at the end of the tunnel is that Thursday is the tentative date for completion of this project. Colleen is coming out here to visit me and we are going to hike some slot canyons together.
And my profound though of the day is: Whenever I hear someone say "slot canyon" I secretly replace "slot" with "slut" and giggle to myself. Yup, welcome to the world of Ian

I climbed a mountain next to Checkerboard Mesa and got to watch sunrise near the top.



My truck is the little one off my right shoulder :)











In the park.

Holy crap!

Apparently the canadians take huge shits. Well, when 10,000 people shit at the same time at least, this is what happens (instigated by a radio dj apparently)

Skype

I am on skype now. Search my name or roth.ian and we can talk over the interweb like the techno geeks we are.

Big Pimpin in Mormon land

How much do you like your boss? Would you live with him? And work with him? All in the same day? Basically, this is the next two weeks of my life; chillin with the boss man 24/7. I hope I don't go insane. But it is probably going to be hard to go insane living an a castle! UAP got us a house just outside Zion NP that is a palace really. I am watching TV in front of the biggest non-theater screen I have ever seen. My bed has 11 pillows for god sakes! If that isn't a sign of luxury, I dont know what is. I'll put more pictures up soon, because Colleen, I know this house is pretty much your dream house.

Oh, and if you haven't already, I highly recommend statcounter. It lets you see all sorts of cool stuff about who is looking at your blog. I got over 30 hits on Tuesday fyi, with a number of them coming from New Zealand (Jake's friends I assume). Just random little factoids like that. And it is easier to put onto your blog now that the template function in blogger has been streamlined.