and, in light of the latest fanatical coverage of the newest threat to humanity, I give you this:

Adventure report

This won't be that last time I ignore my blog for a month or so, but Sorry. Ok, with that said, heres the adventure report for April. I got out to smith a few weeks ago with an eastcoaster who moved out to Newport last year. Pretty normal guy(for being from Boston). Our goal was to climb 2000 vertical feet in a day, but we only got half because of the absolutely epic winds. 40+ mph gusts on a 6 pitch 5.8 X ridge climb is sketchy as hell. We bailed on that and spent the evening eating Cody's freshly slaughtered, apple fed beef in his wood stove heated 20x20 canvas tent, while it rained, froze, and then snowed outside. If that aint camping, I dont know what is.

Two weekends ago, I organized an OMC trip up Shasta. That went about as well as a mountaineering trip could possibly go. we had temps in the mid 80s during the day, with a nice freeze at night. We split into two groups of 4, with the skiiers going up west face via hidden valley and my group climbing Caseval ridge on the southwest side of the mountain. Greg and I climbed Avy Gulch two years ago, and I must say, Caseval is head and shoulders above AG. It begins at 7000 ft or so, climbs up to 9600 and there it levels out and follows a half mile of steep traversing on snow slopes. Then you gain elevation quickly up one of two gullys next to the ridge (we opted to downclimb and ascend the east face for a short time to avoid a large cornice on top of the west gully). From that bench at 11700 or so you get back into cruising up rock bands and snow slopes for another thousand feet. A final band of red rock is encountered with a narrow snow ramp with tons of exposure, then we hopped onto misery hill for the final summit approach. Total time to summit from bivy at 9500 was just over 7 hours. The glissade down Avy Gulch covered about 2000 ft in 5 minutes. Fun! Oh, and when we talked to everyone back in the parking lot, we found out that Celene didn't handle the thin air so well and puked 5 times above 14,000 ft. but she topped out anyway, so you go girl!

This most recent weekend, We had a party at our place on friday night, then I went with Greg to Smith for the day, then I went up to see Colleen's parents new house in Camas. They overlook the gorge, and have an absolutely amazing house. Want!
I am kinda glad I didnt bring my camera to smith, because Greg and I both had an absoulutely terrible day at smith; one of the worst. It has been a really long time since I didn't enjoy climbing, but this was one of those days. We climbed two laps each on Herasy first thing and turned our arms to jello for the rest of the day, making everything else we climbed scary and unpleasant. bummer dood! Col and I rounded out the weekend with a paddle on the lovely little Lacamas Lake near her folk's house. I was pleasantly surprised by the wildlife that was able to exist there among the zillions of boaters and fishermen. We watched ospreys catch fish litterally right in front of fishermen, and then watched a big bald eagle swoop in and chase the ospreys until they dropped the fish so he could get it. This happened 30 ft over our heads, and we got to watch the bald eagle eat the fish on a tree branch from about 20 ft away. Just a really nice remainder of the weekend to compensate for the crappy day of climbing.

Teabag the President!

The conservatives are getting rather irate now! Dear god what will they think of next!
Teabagging conservatives everywhere!

youtube

I've got a nice collection of youtube videos up now. Check 'em out!

Published!

Oh, and Col and I just got tickets to Alaska this summer! We are going to try to go on a kayaking adveture and likely a little hiking too.

I found out 2 really cool things yesterday. I won a contest and am going to have two photos (above) published in an upcoming book on climbing, annnd the American Alpine Institute took a video I posted and put it on their blog! It feels really neat to actually be in something besides facebook! The AAI blog is a really cool feature they have now. There is a lot of entertaining video on there if you need a pick-me-up at work. I climbed Hood last weekend (found out about the trip about 2 hrs before everyone was leaving). Here's a little movie from it. Also, the Corvallis Red Dress Hash took place last weekend (yes I climbed Hood and then ran 4 very drunken miles to 10 bars than night). If you want a taste of Hashing, here ya go!

Address to Congress

I think Obama's address to congress this evening will go down in history as a turning point and one of the most important and well delivered statements in US History. I have no doubt in my mind he can lead us back to the best nation in the world. What a GUY!

a new addiction

I have a terrible new addiction. I get on craigslist, and I look for things I don't need. There is so much great stuff in the "free" category! Not even junk either; I have noticed a trend of the really good stuff being given away by estranged girlfriends. They call it all junk and put it out in the front yard and post an address. Today I found a guy selling shitake mushroom blocks. I think I am going to get one or two. 10$ a block for tons of shroomies sounds great to me!(If you are interested I can pick u up one). Craigslist will keep me busy at work. I got a blackberry and have bookmarked craigslist. I think I will call it just craig. Yea, craig and I are becoming fast friends.

Snow caving and Composting

I have wanted a proper composter for some time, but the damn things were too expensive ($250 easy for a 55 gal drum on a spindle) I looked around at plans and finally just decided to build my own. This is the result of combining a few different ideas. The whole thing ended up costing about $70 for the barrel and hardware, but I think it could be done for about $50 without too much skimping. If you are inspired by this, I recommend finding a barrel that previously contained food-grade material (not industrial cleaners), and using stainless steel in all the fittings. This one has two doors; one big one on the side for getting compost out with a shovel, and a small door on the top for adding daily material. A spindle added too much to the cost, so we are going to roll the barrel around the yard whenever it needs mixing! Easy!



I also must show off our snow cave from this weekend. It was a perfectly constructed 3 enterance, 5 person +2 dogs cave that kept us all quite warm, with almost no drippage during the night. We had a kitchen outside, a fire pit with a 5 ft wall windbreak, Cone Peak to ourselves to watch the sunset and get turns all day on, and lots of tequila and good wine to wind the evening down with.



It is currently snowing in Corvallis, and dumping in the mountains, so I am going to play hookey tomorrow, and hit the slopes! Winter is Back!

You know she's a keeper when.....

Today, I retired a pair of boxers. they were yellow, with a big smiley on them. Whats special about these, is that they were the first pair of boxers that Colleen ever gave me. (Awwww) I figure, if you have worn through a pair of boxers, and the gal is still around, she must be a keeper. (Ooooor, I have really rancid farts). Either way, Colleen is a keeper. To those of you with a significant other, I highly recommend this test as a bellwether for relationship success.

In outdoorsy news, we rocked the weekend with stuff around, but not in, Corvallis. As a famous mountainclubber once said, "the key to enjoying Corvallis is to get away as frequently as possible"(or something like that). We kayaked from Peoria Landing down to town on Saturday with a lunch stop filled with agate hunting on a gravel bar (I found a fatty crystal laden one!). Sunday Colleen ran part of her marathon course in Eugene (yes, she is actually going to run it this time) while I rope soloed and aided at Columns all day. I really can think of no better way to spend a day than nonstop climbing with tunes in your ears and rock in your hands.

Oh, and the best news I have heard in months: Corvallis is going to get a Trader Joes soon!!!! An inside source who shan't be named informed us that the shopping center on the corner of 9th and circle (Riteaid) is they are looking right now. Woot!

Carry on!

Antarctic time lapse

If anyone was wondering what Logan or cousin Jack is experiencing in the deep south, the above video probably gives you a good idea of the beauty they are surrounded by.

Santa forced to evacuate North Pole

Santa forced to evacuate North Pole

by Ernest Istook

Evacuation operations continue at the North Pole, as Santa Claus, Mrs. Claus, their reindeer and an estimated 5,000 elves are being relocated due to global warming to a secure but undisclosed location.

The forcible removal began shortly after Santa lifted off from the North Pole Airport on Christmas Eve as the United Nations Intervention Team , or UNIT, moved in unannounced even while Rudolph's red nose was still dwindling in the distance as Santa's sleigh headed south.

"The only way to save future Christmases was to evacuate the toymakers and Mrs. Claus and to re-locate operations before the ice melts," said Nobel Laureate Al Gore, who was on the scene with a camera crew for the occasion. The footage will be included in Gore's new documentary, "An Inconvenient But Jolly Old Elf"

Gore added that he asked his followers among international scientists to determine whether Santa Claus really exists, and expressed confidence that they will. "They believe in global warming," he said, "so believing in Santa Claus is easy."

When Santa, his sled and reindeer returned to the North Pole, exhausted, drowsy and overdosed on milk and cookies, they were taken into custody by blue-helmeted gnomes. His elves previously had been herded into ships provided by Greenpeace and swiftly removed to an American port. Upon landing, they were met by dockworkers who quickly surrounded them and persuaded most of the elves to sign pledge cards to join the longshoremen's union.

Before he was permitted to see anyone else, Santa was herded into a ship's infirmary for a check-up by public health doctors "It's just as we feared," said the lead physician. "All that milk and cookies has raised his cholesterol well above acceptable levels. We've asked New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg to help the United Nations propose a new tax on all Christmas treats, excepting of course nonfat milk and diet cookies. It's for Santa's own good."

Observers confirmed that Santa was red with anger and threatened to retire. Said one onlooker:

His cheeks were like roses and his nose like a cherry.

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the heat of his anger was as white as the snow.

It was unclear who would have the power to appoint a replacement, but several governors volunteered to accept responsibility for picking a successor to Santa. Said one, "You don't get many opportunities like this. Appointing a senator is worth a lot. But choosing a new Santa Claus? Priceless!"

Caroline Kennedy volunteered to become the first female Santa Claus, saying, "After all, I may have neglected to vote, but I've never missed a Christmas."

President-elect Barack Obama confirmed that a special federal bailout is being considered to subsidize the relocation of Santa's North Pole operations. An estimated figure is $250 billion. "Yes, this money will be borrowed, will contribute to our national debt, and will ultimately be repaid by our children and grandchildren. But that's only fair, because they're the ones who are getting most of the toys anyway."

"This would be our biggest stimulus package since the interstate system known as the Louisiana Purchase."

"Only a Grinch would say no to this," said Obama. Republican congressional leaders could not be reached for comment.

Detroit also volunteered to become the new capital of toy manufacturing, as auto assembly plants would be re-tooled to make toys. "The only problem," commented one Michigan representative, "is that next year Santa would have to deliver the toys by flying commercial."

Others in Congress are quietly discussing merging Santa's operations with the federal government as part of the bailout. Said one key Senate staffer, not for attribution, "We already have so many federal giveaway programs, so this is just a natural extension."

the weather

I hate to post on something as mundane as the weather, but holey moley! Gresham just declared a state of emergency. Reports of 14 inches of snow in the Portland area are becoming frequent. And I am having a helluva time convincing Col that getting to the mountain is gong to be worth it in the storm. I wanna go ride!!!!!! Meg's brother got off the mountain and said he has never skiied that much pow before. WANT!

Col and I went XC skiing from our front door into Mac Forest last week and it has snowed here in corvallis nearly every day for a week (a bunch of warm rain yesterday melted it all away though). Before that I think we had about 5 inches persisting on the ground.
Winter is HERE!

we's gots cats

Col and I got two young cats over the weekend. Its been a while coming, we just couldn't quite find the "right" ones. At the humane society we finally found a 6 month old and a year old male and female to bring home for christmas. I am quite amazed at how quickly they have adapted to a new house and owners. And they are apparently fine around the ferrets, mostly just annoyed that the ferts follow them around everywhere. We are still keeping them under close supervision with the ferts for now. The picture here isnt posed, they are just that good of buddys already. Hooray for the beginnings of a zoo at our house!

Chillin in Idaho, Climbing in Oregon, aaaand the holidays begin

Not much to report here in Boise. Just watching a tractor drive back and forth reseeding a burned area. "Project Management" I guess you could call it. I call it nap time. Depending on where I am in the work area, I can poach wireless signals form houses nearby, so that is what I am doing.

For once, my family had a pleasant, low-friction Thanksgiving and I am contributing most of that to Colleen's presence. Everyone was trying to impress. While with the fam, I found out that my younger brother is headed to Oxford for winter classes (rock on Alec) and Fritz is headed into two surgeries this holiday season to fix a shoulder and broken foot (continued to play football for 2 weeks after breaking it, then getting it stomped on in a game).

On my way out here (before Thanksgiving) Sam, Jimmi and I climbed at Trout Creek in Central Oregon. It is a crag with the best collection of splitter cracks in OR. We tried to better acquaint ourselves with wide crack climbing with some very bloody results. Nevertheless, it was really good to get out and bleed on some real rock. I also must talk up Sam Mackey just for a second. I have never seen someone take to cracks, OW specifically, as smoothly as he did. James and I FLAILED up two 5 in cracks, with 10+ falls and on both cracks, Sam didn't fall once. Not once! Granted, when he came down, his ankles and fingertips were absolutely shredded, but god damn son!

I had to leave for Boise just as Greg D and Graham M showed up to the crag but I at least got to trade some choice comments about their shoddy climbing technique and them just being all around wankers!

Obama and river bears

...Aaaand the world breathes a collective sigh of relief as Obama takes the whitehouse. I don't think I even threatened to move to Canada once this year!

In other news, I've got the latest round of photos from the Rogue this year. I rowed Ben's "glass bottom boat" which was akin to taking a leaky bathtub into a hurricane. Aside from having no floor at all, a metal grate tied on for a footrest, very leaky side tubes, too short oars, and the most drag of any boat EVER, oar boating is great! (I really did enjoy rowing the river actually) I got the hang of it really quick and styled Blossom Bar on day two.
I was stoked to have the pirate flag along. It really completed the look.
June's dad running Rainey
Cody's boat on Rainey
Ben's boat on Rainey
Ben's boat again (somewhere....)I have a faint memory of someone (Molly?) tellling me about the "monkies" along the river years ago. Well, this year I finally found them. Keep an eye out, they are in the second half of day one...
Col on the oars. I must say, having two people aboard, one to feed the other wine and one to row, works really well. At one point, right around when the boats started catching up, saying they were out of booze, folks noticed a bear had been following the rafts for a half hour or so. Apparently this pissed off a very drunk Bryan. He decided he was going to kill a bear - with a 4 inch knife. He swam ashore, and with some indian whooping, ran down the trail to kill himself a bear. We saw Bryan round a corner and disappear behind some rocks, then the bear came running out at full tilt from the rocks with Bryan just a few feet from it's heels. Fortunately (for Bryan) the bear was fast and cowardly. We asked Bryan later what the hell he was thinking, and his response was something to the effect of, "I was gonna fuck it up!"
Bryan, knife in hand, climbing up to git hisse'f a bearskin rug!

Wassaaaaaap!

A Good ol'e fashion Corvallis weekend

what a great weekend around OR! On Friday we went out with some friends to a super secret, chop your head off if you tell anyone, chantrelle spot and loaded up on the fleshy fungi of the NW. Saturday, was a house cleaning day (not too much fun but we did sleep in till noon, which is a rare thing and needs to be celebrated. That night we did go over to Will's to enjoy some homemade pear brandy and another concoction that although tasty, was about the sweetest drink I have ever had. Keith, ariel, Col, myself and Becca all headed over to Squirrels later to enjoy some pitchers (it is still just barely warm enough to make use of the outdoor patio there at night) and talk of sinful things.
Then today Rhiannon and her family hosted an apple pressing party in the orchard below the house at Beazell where we pressed about 15 gallons of lovely cider. There is a very, very old orchard with a single tree of each different variety and the apples are delicious and huge! Keith even showed up (I hope he made his flight) for a few hours. The potluck randomly had a bit of a middle eastern theme and was half desserts, which was fine by me! My goodness, I forgot to mention that Deverton even came down for the party! It was quite the collection of miscreants in the orchard for that afternoon. What a good bunch! It felt like 2003 seeing those faces all in one weekend!
It was grea

More gear for the garage

Colleen, as you know, really doesn't like climbing. And I as you may or may not know, don't like running. Nor does Col like biking down mountains crazy fast, as I do. For a while we have searched for something to do together that we could both enjoy immensely (if we aren't having immense amounts of fun, it just doesn't count). Last fall we found that sea kayaking was something we could both enjoy a lot. We tried another trip this fall, to really make sure that this kayaking thing is really for us, and guess what, it was still as great. So we splurged and bought two demo sea kayaks at end of year sales this year. They are awesome! So far we have only taken them out on the willamette and to the roll session at OSU (we were such outcasts with our huge boats!) . It is still so nice to be able to have toys for water now! Boats are the one thing that we have avoided up to now; dont know why, it just seemed like too much to have to move around I guess. I can not wait to take them out and explore!

The Keating Quandry

poor communication

Sometimes work really sucks. I have my boss and another guy (i guess technically my other boss, but he is in new mexico) both pissed off at me. They didn't talk to each other until the last second to decide which project I would be working on for the next 4 weeks, so now I am working on two at the same time. The catch is, both projects have stipulations in the contract that there has to be someone "on the ground" with knowledge of GIS (me). Being in NM and OR at the same time is a little tough, never mind that I am trying to juggle both projects work loads in my head. Of course one is bound to make mistakes (I only made a small one) and the stress of one boss having VERY poor communication skills and not knowing if the contract manager is going to call off the project because we arent meeting the specified obligations has them both on edge. I misinterpreted something in excel and put in a wrong acreage for a few units. This was caught 3 days before work is even starting, thus isn't that big of a deal, but with all the other stress, they are both really pissed at the liddle mistake. I am hearing a lot of "there is no room for errors!" right now. Grrrrr. and I havent had a weekend in 2 weeks and probably wont get one for another two. 12 hr days are fun! Shoot me in the face !
And to really compound things, just as all this is coming to a head, the massive shit I took in my boss's bathroom an hour before (mind you his office is in the basement of his house) rockets out of the toilet when a coworker tries to flush and floods the bathroom. That was the final straw. Holy shit.