Ahhhh its great to be home >:(

My mom asks me why I think she is insane. Now (as if this is a first) I have a concrete example that I can show her :)
First a little background: several years ago, my mom started getting really paranoid that someone was stalking her. Here is the evidence she had to support her theory; rocks in the front yard landscaping were being turned over in the middle of the night ( ooOH!), scratches in the furniture were appearing while she was out (I can remember putting one of those in as a child, but she wont listen), bolts holding things together in the house were being loosened (god forbid that should happen after 15 years of structural neglect!), a bike also disappeared out of the front yard (again obviously the stalker) and the list has gone on for the last 5 or so years.
In response to this threat she has this house wired up like Fort Fucking Knox!!!! There is a motion sensor in every room, all the doors are alarmed, there are video cameras everywhere (mission impossible style in the smoke alarms too), and for several months, she would sneak my brothers out of the house after dark so the evil doer wouldn't see, and a retired policeman/PI would come and sit in the house all night waiting for said evildoer to come and loosen more screws (there werent any left to loosen in my moms head though). All the while I am sitting back enjoying the show whenever I come to visit.
I woke up this morning to the house alarm. Yes all 50,000 watts of screaming highpitched siren. Apparently when my mom left this morning she forgot I was here and reset the alarm. Isnt that safe of her! When I rolled over in bed, that triggered the motion sensor. The security company calls but because I am not on the approved security list (she wont put me on because she isnt entirely convinced I am not the stalker) they cant deactivate the alarm. Apparently they were able to get ahold of her at the school eventually. She told them I was ok, and to reset the alarm. So they did. It stopped for 3 seconds, just enough time for me to take out my earplugs, and then started again! They reset it, but didnt turn it off. By this point the neighbors are coming by to see what is up; I just shake my head, they nod, and walk away. Mom wont give me her passowrd (remember I might still be the one turning over rocks in the night) and insists she is driving the 30 min home to deactivate it herself. Awesome. Earplugs in, knife in hand, I went about "deactivating" the alarms by cutting wires until I was either shocked or the thing shut up. All but the outside alarm are now "deactivated" as I sit and wait for psycho lady to get home.
Oh, whatddaya know! the alarm turned off again! Now I get to sit perfectly still while typing until she gets home so I dont trip the motion sensor again.
Welcome to my life!
I want to get back to Oregon.

Global Warming

I love Oregon

I think Sid the ferret is the perfect pet for me. The similarities are uncanny. The little bugger likes to play in the dirt, so do I. He likes to sleep away the day, so do I. I like entertainment, and he is definitely entertainment. A dog sounds fun too though. :)

On the home front, my old guy roommate moved out. Good news right? Not when it means an older, creepier guy moves in. This guy is an inescapable talker! And he is one of those old guys who doesn't care what folks think of him so he just speaks his mind. Colleen was over the other night and he made several sexist/sexual comments at her and the women he was watching on TV at the time. Col finally started laying into him a bit when he would say shit like that and I had to seperate them. The good news about this is I talked to my boss and he is releasing me from my "training" which allows me to move down to Ctown. That'll probably happen some time later this winter. Depends on how soon this guy gets on my nerves.

It is also great to be back in Oregon with sane, mostly normal people. Mormonland and little mexico were too much. Colleen and I did enjoy ourselves in Zion though. WWe spent several days slot canyoning and hiking around before driving back. We rented wetsuits, she brought climbing gear and we did Pine Creek Canyon (right under the long tunnel) and Keyhole Canyon. Col and I climbed to the top of Angels Landing in under an hour (3-4 hrs round trip in book). Oh yea!

The Virgin R. Narrows

The Virgin R. NarrowsColleen horizontally chimneyed over hundreds of feet of the water because she didn't want to get wet!Gotta love the swims!After Keyhole canyon.Col on a freehanging rappel.Desert Gambel Oak.

some math

October 4 = Last time I slept in my own bed,
28 = # of days I have worked in the last 31 days,
12 = aprox. average hours worked per work day(probably higher),
3167 = monthly salary,
28 X 12 = 336 hrs worked in a month,
$3167 / 336 = $9.42 per hr.
I made more than that per hr my sophmore year of highschool. I just hope that between having a good portion of time off during winter and not having to pay for gas I am averaging more than $9.42 per hour over the year.
And what has that $9.42 gotten me? Today I spent the day hiking and conversing with a Baptist Minister/Priest/Rabbi/Whatever from Texas. I got to learn about how the beautiful rock layers exposed in Zion are actually the product of one cataclysmic flood caused by God just several thousand years ago (the flood and sediment came from the mid atlantic ridge). Oh, and the slot canyons around the area are cracks where the biblical flood rushed up from under the continents. Yea, thats what I said. And just to really fit the stereotype, he started one story with "I really like little boys" (verbatim!) Oh, and apparently womens' best way to express their love to their husbands by doing dishes and taking care of kids because it is the man's responsibility to earn money, take care of finances... Again, you get the idea.
Another interesting thing about this hike is that there are 2-3 large felines in the immediate vicinity of our trail. One of us has been hiking into the burned area we are spraying every day to be a ground spotter for the helicopter. The "trail" is a sandy ridge that we bushwack into the boonies for 4.3 miles. Each day for the last several days new cougar tracks have been appearing, paralleling our footprints. There are 3 distinct tracks, one large and two smaller cats (one may be a large bobcat). So we have started hiking in pairs now. Isn't that sketchy?!?
So lets see what else... My boss choked me yesterday, I have made a name for myself with a rather Keeganesque comment yesterday that apparently is funny enough to tell EVERYONE currently residing within a 20 mile radius of the park, I now have a webcam, so I can talk to you on skype face to face, I wake up at 4:30 to get to work before the sun rises, and the glimmering light at the end of the tunnel is that Thursday is the tentative date for completion of this project. Colleen is coming out here to visit me and we are going to hike some slot canyons together.
And my profound though of the day is: Whenever I hear someone say "slot canyon" I secretly replace "slot" with "slut" and giggle to myself. Yup, welcome to the world of Ian

I climbed a mountain next to Checkerboard Mesa and got to watch sunrise near the top.



My truck is the little one off my right shoulder :)











In the park.

Holy crap!

Apparently the canadians take huge shits. Well, when 10,000 people shit at the same time at least, this is what happens (instigated by a radio dj apparently)