Whats the deal! Suddenly everyone has realized what I have known since 5th grade when I watched the Delta Force movies starring CN. Chuck Norris can kick anyones ass blindfolded, tied up, and drunk. I have seen a lot of lists about how much ass CN or steven segal or Jack Bauer can kick,(see below) but I don't know if I have seen a single mention of their sexual prowesses in bed. There is a lot of talk going on about these guys but really, it is mostly just talk. How many of these people have actually watched a Chuck Norris movie(no "Walker Texas Ranger" doesn't count). Lemme tell you what, if you had seen a real Chuck film, the jokes would stop. He can kick some serious ass and the best thing for you to do would be to run and hide.
-99% of Chuck Norris is kick ass. The remaining 1% is pain in your genitals. The other 10% contributes to world hunger because Chuck Norris always gives 110%.
-The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris's fist.
-Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
-Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
And now, just as I am stealing these from the internet to make a point, I find a sexual reference. Go figure.
-Chuck Norris is currently in a legal battle with the makers of Bubble Tape. Norris claims "6 Feet of Fun" is actually the trademark for his penis.
February 22, 2006
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